Friday, April 14, 2006

NOT IN USE ANYMORE. new blogsite!
www.paperedheart-.blogspot.com
ty(:
relink and tag!

Friday, April 07, 2006

i love today's happenings! (:
although some really sucked big time.
especially geog.
geog sucked like hell.
i hate mrs koh and geog.
i clean forgot that i had to get tinner from e office and clean off the vandalism.
i wondered who did it for me la.
it`s gone. so sad.
but still, 1h`06 will rock on.
forever. it will be history.


freaking cold geog room.
asked us always to save electricity.
but the geog room had the ceiling fans AND air-con on.
believe it or not. crazy people.
no wonder mrs lau refused to switch one off.
she was always wearing a coat. ><


next on was science. gosh.
always slacked and science homewrk was always incomplete.
what nice pieceS of blank paperS.
today copied e answers like hell.
hand was so suan from all those writing le la.


as normal, friday no second recess.
had to take 2-in-1 breakfast and lunch togthr.
it had to last till 1.35pm.
4 hours. so great.

othr periods bored me to death.
history was agn writing writing writing.
i am tired of these practical stuffs we do almost everyday. sian.
mr yeow so cute.
ask me.
"you going for maths tuition huh?"
"ya. my maths now very badly done."
"har? okaye."
LOL
and in a terrible way, i got another demerit point!
forgot to let parents sign test paper. WTH =.=

thus ended school just like that. i know this was quite a boring day.
BUT...
c`girls had planned to skip training and support the b`div girls and boys at
clementi.
faraway. 19 stops from tanah merah mrt station.
39 minutes. still have to walk a distance to e stadium.
in e mrt, we actually sat down. so inconsiderate seh.
so we decided to stand up yeah.
i can conclude, basketballers are zilian.
hilda was only e execption.
this were the pictures taken with my stupid phone.



peiying is happy that only half of her face is taken. hmms.

i look better in this picture ba. LOL

okaye dokes. i must admit my photography skills sometimes not up to standard. XDD

looking so depressed. ><

blur faces.

we ARE really sleepy.

kelly damn AA can. haha.





enough of pictures! really?
the b`girls match was such a pity.
i had faith in them they could win.
unfortunately, God wasn`t with us spiritually.
expected gan eng seng to win b`boys.
but in the end, we won.
glad(:
exciting matches.

i wonder if c`girls would have the chance to be in nats top8 or top4?
ha. it all depends on luck, skills, teamwrk.
so while watching the matches, denise was kinda bored.
started scribbling my name.
see what i mean.

ha. that`s definetely NOT my hand okaye.


taking all these pictures, i actually didn`t take the bball match.
haha. but difficult to capture la.
so never mind.
started eating my toast which i bought at 1pm.
came in handy. LOL
then hilda took me eating.
and denise turned. and it turned out to be such a cute picture. *giggles*



proceeded to have dinner at Mac`s and went home.
19 stops to come. 40 minutes to come.
19 stops to go back. 40 minutes to go back.
tired.
bought teens mag.
not rly vry interesting ler.
then hilda was kind ehough to wait for me. the rest just walked on.
and i could tell peiying dislikes me now.
sighs. another ruined friendship.
should i leave her alone?
sigh sigh sigh.
nights! =D

Thursday, April 06, 2006

hoho! i love today!
no depression today though(:
the speech at parade square rocks big time.
cause it delayed the geog period.
yay! geog is boring.
finally finished.
py was sweating like seow?
diao =.=
mrs koh was there.
before she left,
"a reminder. do not vandalise the tables."
obviously, she was driving it at me! wth ><

she called for me.
guess what she said?
recess time go to general office get some tinner.
erase off those words i vandalised.
no using ruler, it scratches.
i used the ruler to scratch some off and no marks there.
making such a big fuss.
and i hate geog grouping.
choon siang, bryan and justin. buay tahan!
damn noisy.
suay like shit la.

science lesson was fine?
i mean, fun?
saw seniors at sciences building.
so we did experiments today.
at least that kept me awake.
nice one.



after recess was HMT.
chen was running out of tunes these few days.
and everyone burst out laughing, expecially huituan la.
finally finished last paragraph of cheena composition in class.
wrote abt science stuff. though i hated science so much. XDDD

maths lesson i was so so so so blur.
everyone got their papers back except for me.
mine was handed up late, in the pigeon hole. LOL
i hope my maths improve with e guidance of mr tong and friends(:
it totally sucks can.

i liked english today.
didn`t know why.
i guess i haven`t been reading about few months? years perhaps. =D
but soon the enthuness dropped.
i fell dead on the table. dozed off.
peiying woke me up when mr tam came in to seek for help on the doll stuff.
tingyi, kelly, gen, peiying and i were planning to do that after school!
so helpful eh? HAHA.

luckily CD lesson wasn`t boring.
poor Jesus.
he died on the cross for our sins.
hmms. should i stay as a christian or a free tinker?
sighs.

had sci remedial. sad case. practically all the questions i don`t know how to do.
failure. haihaihai.
gen came in and passed me a piece of paper.
"na. from chewshian de."
"omg. so nice!"
ty so much! (:
see!


finally finished the 2 dolls in 2-3 hours time.
we did it.
for the sake of the class.
i didn`t mind at all.
because helping others is my pleasure. (=

see? this is how a great last minute work looks like.


and i could tell it kinda standed out when we put it up at the concourse.
great.
take care^^
the yesterday life.
screwed up comp system.
had something on in the noon.
mr hoo wanted us to wear dark jersey, the boys white jersey.
weird =/
we didn`t know what was the reason.
it turned out terribly.
sun ho was coming. an alumni member of ahs coming back to visit.
a little gorgeous? ha.
big shots always tend to arrive late. very late.
we all waited patiently.
and i think 1h was glad that they could skip lessons and assembly.

the the girls sat there like stupid fools.
what for ask us to attend? duh.
but, i found out something.
i rock at netball! XDDD
so BHB right.
had EL enrich.
those 8 of us wanted to pontang agn.
cause we wanted to play.
haha. but got off the stupid idea.
and went for enrich though we were gonna be late.
ha. impromptu speeches somemore.

after everything finished, py and i headed for e bball court.
of course, where else could we go?
seniors came along and asked if we wanted to go home with them.
py followed them back and left me alone la.
my good friend would rather go with seniors than accompany me?
maybe she starting to hate me or trying to get seniors attention?
hmms.
but thank god, yuwen was there to chat with me.
and i found out yuwen is really really really really really really very nice(:
doing work he came.
but not really disturbing.
cause i wasn`t concentrating on my work. =D
pity him la. but think i don`t tell anyone ba. respect others` privacy.
WOW. since when i have became so considerate de?!

around 5.30pm.
yuwen had to pack his stuff before he goes home.
so i told him to take his time.
but he didn`t take his own sweet time.
and so great.
slight drizzle became heavy downpour.
lazy to take out umbrella. yuwen didn`t have one.
so we were drenched from head to toe. LOL
no choice. had to take taxi. yuwen took e mrt in the wet condition he was in. ><
and air con damn cold la. how he tahan one?
denise was so kind. she flagged a taxi using umbrella.
so fed up.
a lady snatched a taxi from me.
grr.
finally denise`s 31 came. took with her and alighted one stop after.
saw afi in bus31. still as cute as ever. XDDDD
suddenly i missed home so much.
my warm, cuddly bed.
my memories of them...
so basically, this was about yesterday.
i knew it was a boring day afterall.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

I AM SORRY.
sorry to all the seniors.
and notice i didn`t put any la, okaye, hor, lor behind.
i am sincere in my apology.
and from clara's personal message in messenger, i knew she was hinting at me.
first time we didn`t talk at all.
hope the air is cleared by now.
but i don`t think so.
oh ya(:
sorry for the late replies at the tagboard.
something wrong. ha!
AND heard from doreen and denise got spammer?
duh. i don`t care.
"we don`t like you either." =.="

practically everyone hates me.
i think the state i am in now is even worse than lydia's.
sighs.
i just don`t know what i can do.

i know being in this school is so like...
in primary school, i was dying and so looking forward to secondary life.
thought it was so perfect as it seems.
but it seems like i was totally wrong.
the impression of secondary life was so nice.
till i really experienced it myself.
more problems came in.
and now i am stuck.
now i realised, those happiness were only for a short while.

my mum and dad had a conversation with me yesterday.
"i wanna transfer you out of ahs."
"why?!"
"you are not balancing well yr studies and CCA."
and i kept quiet.
i knew they already had this idea in their mind.
i had nothing else to say if they wanna think this way.
i have not told them abt the demerit point thing.
if i told them, i bet by this week, i would be out.
i know i am stupid.
ahs standard is perhaps too 'high' for me la. ><
because stupid people would not be studying in ahs.
AND I SUGGEST I GET OUT OF AHS.
i want to.
because perhaps the whole team OR (someone) finds me a burden to the team.

and now something made mum even pissed.
8/35 for maths common test. ><
now so great.
and i am really touched.
kelly was so kind and nice.
she knew how much i got and she asked...
"zoe, you want every thursday we stay back go library do maths and revise?"
aww. thats so sweet of her.
thanks for everything(:
and so now kelly, you know someone doesn`t take you for granted afterall.
take care of that little scar on yr little finger^^

and sorry to doreen for placing her bag other places without her noticing.
she got damn pissed with me.
sorry.
and chewshian and i had a heart-to-heart talk.
she could sense my behaviour was weird this week.
peiying told her.
so peiying kept it from me.
she knew.

hence.
i will promise myself: not to cry anymore.
hilda is right.
breaking down is no use.
i don`t have the mood to post anymore.
try my best to regain my composure.
the last GOODBYE(:

Monday, April 03, 2006

i slept at mindnight.
AND woke up at 5 today.
what the hell is wrong with me?!
felt so much drowsier than before.
as usual, i had a stomach upset.
this time, a bad one indeed. ><
i think i gotta go for a checkup.
sad case. ):

anyway...
i gonna take up the challenge(:
a post that would entertain dearie.
a post that would make dearie's day.
but now not today.
and i promise you, today's post gonna be much depressing oncemore.
please do not read on if you are sick and tired of the word: DEPRESSION.
ty(:

i gonna fail my history test liao la.
others' answers had many lines.
whereas my answers to the questions were presented in a line only.
its like so OMG la.

d&t was so bad todaye.
both the lesson and mr kwang.
i realised most of the teachers in AHS are crappified.
only a small amt of them are friendly, understanding, caring, kind.
and those who i hate so much: SO Friendly, Understanding, Caring, Kind.
i think if you are smart enough, you can figure it out ba. ><
oh ya. yuwen taught me this stupid logic. (:

mr kwang gave us a handout.
and...
"i can give this to primary children."
and i was thinking
"WTF. SO SARCASTIC."
"i cannot treat you all as small children."
deep thoughts,
"of course you can`t. puh-lease!"
"to train an animal it takes a shorter time."
such bad opininon of us. wah laus.

recess, i had no mood at all.
fucking pissed off with the haters teachers in school.
AP man.
i spent alot on food today lor.
curry niang tou fu.
pink dolphin.
nuggets?
i-sport drink.
toast.
i am growing fatter. ><
yeah. tingyi put on a little weight too.
seniors said they put on 10kg when they first came to AHS.
WOW. damn pro sia.

then came to chinese period agn.
i felt lonley again.
the back row all empty.
only me, my desk, more desks and desks without chairs.
no one to talk to.
thats why i HATE HMT.
anf just now mr tam said he wanted 5 desks in a row, so py was separated frm me):
haha. at least can get along with yuwen, zhouyang, sean la.
the nearest girl was yina. 1.5m away.
sighsighs.

reasons why i hate[d] chinese:
crappified chen was there to teach!
lonliness!
sometimes i really admire doreen.
most of the times she remain so cheerful and happy(:
why can`t my life be as perfect as hers?
sighs...

and i can tell you: history and ACC sucked.
copy and copy notes all the time.
especially ACC.
i couldn`t figure out what the hell i was copying.
i just copied and didn`t bother anymore. =.=
history slighty better.
mr yeow made the lesson lively.
or else 1h classroom would be no different from a graveyard.
end of school.
went mad. screamed.
couldn`t wait for the bell to ring.

and training didn`t turn out as it was expected to be.
vanessa scolded me for those stuff i was supposed to tell jiangsen.
apparently, van, clara, botin, denise, the 4 of them were VERY unhappy with me.
"see la. why must you go tell? now we must shoot so much." ><
dots...
at the instance, i was so freaking pissed off.
i hate them actually.
although clara said sorry. the daokia just now. ):
not my fault right.
it was coach who wanted me to say la.
dumbass.

i feel like returning my jersey to coach.
peiying, too.
perhaps we shall do it together? (:
i can`t take it anymore.
and just now, i promised myself.
next year, i am not gonna treat my juniors the way my seniors are treating me now.
those cold treatment.

i need time.
i need to be alone.
so if you see me so depressed or whatever in class or somewhere else,
just know that, I NEED TO BE ALONE.
ty!):

Sunday, April 02, 2006

hey all c`girls top 14 basketballers^^
important. please read!
announcement by coach when i met her today.
ty(:
she will be late as she has nats match.
so she will be rushing down later, as soon as possible.

using half court for each grouping.

clara, vanessa, botin, denise, adeline, tingyi and ruyi(me):
clara, botin, ruyi: 200 shots under basket AND 200 shots blue area.
denise and adeline: 200 shots blue area.
vanessa and tingyi: 200 shots 3-pointer and blue area.

imee, yantze, hilda, kelly, chewshian, gen, peiying:
3 cones. "chong lan". 200/300 times each.
clara shall do that for them.

after everything is done, everyone do fake then jumpshot.
as usual, you need a cone.
cone = defender^^

so, thats all.
we do all this till she come.
or rather, we continue doing all these.
tough job.
if i hadn`t bargained with coach, it would be 100 shots more. great.
such easy training eh? LOLS.

coach compares us with NBA players. wow.
that means that we can be compared with them because our standard is good! LOL.
GDLUCK(:
i love making people jealous?
yesterday told hilda i got a laptop for being fifteen in class.
15 / 35 lalala(:
so encouraging.
and she wanted to tell her mum.
haha.
glad to have a great mum and dad!
<3 mummy daddy. XDDD

anyway...
now doreen misses my post so much!
thats goes to show how much she loves her dearie ahma! LOL.
okaye. =]
ahma <3 sunnu too! yeah.

cut the crap. those lovey dovey stuffs. XD
now its giving me e goosebumps.
i used to not think this way.
but...
right now, i regretted saying some things.
regretted telling some things.
and if i wanted to make a change now, thats not gonna help.
no, it doesnt.
nothing's gonna help now.
and i have given up on all hopes.
the 3 hims.
never gonna be a fairytale anymore.
lets just get on with life.
i am sure we can carry on without, the him.

AND, again AND, i hate those who look down on me.
fuck off!
you bastard.
dont judge others when you yourself aint perfect.
oh puh-lease can.
i hate you! argh.
you are simply getting on my nerves.
those fucking hypocritical people.
so whatever.

and early this morning, my brother was fucking irritating.
funny how people are so fucking irritating nowadays. ><
mum saw my ipod and took it away.
he so agreed mum should take it away.
"mum, i support you wholeheartedly."
i was so pissed off.
"shut the crap, dude."
i didnt give a damn if i was respecting or being rude to my brother.
really. i didnt bother much.
because its meaningless to do so.
and so my ipod was "confiscated".
thanks to him.
he must be madly happy now.

my saturdays were always ruined by trainings.
and sunday is the only day i could study.
well. sports people sacrifice.
but they get bad treatment in return.
biased treatment.
from the teachers. WTF.
its gonna be hell for this year.
i cant stand this treatment.
soon i would be gettg more demerit points.
so great ><

wth. history test on mon.
havent even touched the book.
did nothing.
all i did:
watch teebee.
eat.
sleep.
use computer.
read mags.
nothing else.
what slack attitude.
and i can get driven out of ahs for that attitude.

anyway, i have no mood to blog more abt sunday.
short post.
bye ):

Saturday, April 01, 2006

A
R
G
H
H

the dim light of dawn peeked through my semi-transparent curtains.
it forced my eyes to respond to the sudden dazzle.
unwilling to make changes to the comfy position i was lying on my bed for the entire night.
finally it got so bright that it pierced my eyes painfully.
i reluctantly turned my head away from it.
didnt had the mood for training today.
was so tired.
i shifted myself and covered my head with the blanket.
it wasnt of much use as i after a while i found myself exigent need for air.
i turned my head so i was face flat on my pillow.
gosh didnt i bathe or what!
the soft thing i rested my head on for hours actually smelled so so bad.
maybe my hair didnt smell that good at the end of every day.
espically the days when i played bball and perspired alot.
felt sick.
no fever.
no flu.
yes cough.
a yes to sore throat too?
oh yeah.
i woke up at 9am.
boom. i fell backwards and slept cause i was dead tired.
laid in bed as time passes in idleness.
ended up waking up at 11am?!?!
omg. slacker.
"wake up, sleepy freak!!!" dad exclaimed in an euphemistic manner.
and i was asking myself,
"why in the world, of all words, dad must say, sleepyfreak, clara's friendster name?!"
argh.

'nah leave me alone. i have this horrible headache plaguing me this morning. now.

i had lunch in my father's car.
because i was running late for trainings.
and i wouldnt want another crappified cheng to reprimand me.
cheng is his surname if im not wrong?
who gives a damn? no one.

rushed the mac meal.
1 medium fries, 1 burger, 1 iced milo.
all in 15 mintues.
wow. what a meal ate in an incredible speed.
all thanks to bball training la.
or maybe give thanks to my slack brain? ><

reached the side gate with mac's iced milo.
much in a pathetic state, my stomach was so bloated.
and then i saw peiying.
so i said goodbye to mum and dad.
together we walked up the stairs.

boring sensation.
kelly saw us.
and she was extra enough to shout our names.
duh ><
then, i noticed the b`boys were present.
except for huiwen and qiangsen.
weird eh =/
anyway, i didnt really care much.

then i realised something.
i forget to bring the fixtures for b`boys and b`girls nats matches for female coach.
oh no!
jiangsen trusted me to do a good job.
but i failed.
sorry. ):

told femm coach.
she said that maybe tonight or tmw i go down and pass to her bahs.
thank god.
saved a pretty scolding yeah.
XDDD yaya.

oh so pathetic.
as a result, c`girls apparently had to give way to b`boys.
cause they were having match on monday.
and it was givng way till 3pm.
2 hours. gymwork.
what the hell.

and so i just kept my ~!#%$#&^*&*#% to myself.
didnt dare to complain eh.
if not clara will be... "eh. stop leh."
haha.
today i realised something.
i am getting stronger. weets^^
did the 2kg weights faster than normal.
thats good news! oohlalas =D
and then did other stuffs.
blablabla. ......

then went into the other gym.
not walk. we rushed.
for the treadmills.
with treadmills, dots... and an extremely large mirror.
for what?
maybe its for those zilian girls to look at and tidy their attire or hair.
so, whatever.

and so...
ended up running 2.1km in 15min.
omg.
failure.
tingyi and kelly were abt the same.
as for hilda, 1.6km in 15min.
very worried.
sport class people cant lose to others.
right? so i decided.
im gonna train.
my stamina really sucks nowadays.
kampate sport class people! ^^

went on skipping and doing that...
raising up the weights on a bar.
whats that called?
lols.
did 100 times.
cause i was aiming to break vanessa's and tingyi's record.
highest 70.
tingyi's.
and i was so set on it. 100!
too bad vanessa did again and 120 times one short.
it proves she is stronger than me, no doubt.

then b`boys c`girls shared one court.
half each.
we could do nothing much.
just shooting, shooting and shooting.
so today practically was on shooting.
and i found out, i can be quite sharp in shooting, sometimes.
XDDD bhb.

match havent start yet.
the male coach already say,
"ni men da dao zhe yang da shen me."
so demoralising.
>< bad style of coaching.
and terribly played.
with the aunties.
score was 28/34.
i think.
not very good.
and i scored two goals.
but i knew that these aunties were very off today.
thats why we ALMOST won.
if not, it would be like, the score 34 VS 50.
UHS. yes.

after trng, kelly and i rushed for the room agn.
too bad i won.
but she was wearing shoes.
i was wearing slippers.
so the result was unexpected.
or rather, i ran first. XDDD

and the next moment, kelly got a big shit stuck just now.
her history books were in her locker.
so baichi aint she?
then imee, kelly and i tried looking for a staircase to go up to 1h classroom.
we couldnt find one.
so we took the route from the canteen to the church then to the bball court.
surprisingly, i found a way.

we could enter from the lecture rooms there.
from climbing.
imee did it.
for kelly.
wow.
the landing her legs were balancing on was so squeezy.
if she wasnt careful, she might...
uhuh. from 2nd storey.
not that deadly, but would end up having broken limbs and whatsoever.
choy. what a bad thing to say.
fortunately, imee came back safe and sound.
i could tell kelly was worried.
ha. but kelly was like so...
unappreciative of what imee did for her.
then i told kelly,
"wah lau. you so wang en fu yi."
LOLS.

anyway, while surfing the net...
realised that there were many pousers around la.
fuck s*****.
just chanced upon her profile.
pouser. i think she didnt know this word.
: COPYRIGHTED.
i think i should enlarge that word.
because some people just thought it wasnt there.
too small a word to be there. ><
she copied and she made it so obvious.
now i didnt want that thing to be on my profile.
in case others say i copied her not the other way round.

anyway, GDLUCKS(:
history test om mon.
english test on tues.
(: must pia for it, lk!
jiayou. LOLS.
catch up.

so...
this's today.
tata.
thats all(: